Sex is a misdemeanor; the more I miss, the meaner I get!
If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.
We just got a fax. At work. We didn't know we had a fax machine. The entire department just stared at it. I poked it with a stick.
Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever's bugging you