That moment when you have an awesome comeback but you can't say it because it would end the friendship
The best curve on a girl is her smile... Naw just kiddin, look at dat ass.
How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.
A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized