Insurance is like marriage. You pay and pay but you never get anything back
This woman comes in, who doesn't speak English, she points at the shoes, I pointed at the door, she pointed at the sky and knees me in the nay-nays
This skinny woman with a hook nose olive oyls into the shoe store, and says "I want something to make me look sexy". So I say "You'll have to wait a long time before someone that ugly comes in to stand next to you"
I married you till death do us part. Which means when I'm dead I'm free to date