Oh, Lord, if I ever meant anything to you, please let me fall asleep before she thinks of sex
I wanna go the way all Bundys go. I wanna hang myself in my own basement by jumping off my workbench
The first dumbest move had to be when I answered your phone call the day after we had sex
This skinny woman with a hook nose olive oyls into the shoe store, and says "I want something to make me look sexy". So I say "You'll have to wait a long time before someone that ugly comes in to stand next to you"