We could always look at the poor people who were less fortunate than us and feel better. Well, let's find a mirror.
Unlike marriage, phone sex is a victim-less crime
If your father didn't lace that lemonade, with vermouth, I'd be single
A woman comes into the mall today, so huge she's protected by Greenpeace and asks for a size 4 shoe. So I asked her if she wants to eat them there or takes them home