you can stab me with knives, you can beat me with clubs, you can make me open my eyes when we're having sex but there's no way on earth you can make me get a second job
A man's home is his coffin
"Marcy": What did Peggy get you Al? "Al": Irregularity.
A fat woman Godzillas into the shoe store today, asks for something she could wear to walk in the woods. Jokingly, I suggest she wear a sign that says: "Don't shoot from the front I look human"