We've been married for 17 years now, can't we just be friends?
A woman comes into the mall today, so huge she's protected by Greenpeace and asks for a size 4 shoe. So I asked her if she wants to eat them there or takes them home
What was I thinking when I said I do? I'd already had sex with her so I didn't need that again
Hey, Marcy, what's holding the towel up?
