Latest Funny One Liners

A girl has to get in bed before 8 p.m. so she can come home at 11.

Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push.

A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.

My mind wants to dance but my body is a really awkward white guy.

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.

You owe me a drink, you're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.

We never knew he was a drunk... until he showed up to work sober.