Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he just stares them down until they give him the information he needs
Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg was recently hospitalized, because Chuck Norris poked him
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire
Chuck Norris can order a Big Mac at Burger King
Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face
Chuck Norris doesn't go Live. Live goes Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris never dials the wrong telephone number, you pick up the wrong phone.