Funny One Liners

All I want for Christmas is.... Nutella.

It feels strange! A hybrid emotion consisting of awkwardness and sickness, topped off with an erection

I never said you are perfect

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.

When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broke up, I think it's time you kept your promise!

One cigarette shortens your life by two hours, one bottle of vodka by three hours, and a workday - eight hours

Isn't it great to live in the 21st century? Where deleting history has become more important than making it