Funny One Liners

When you want to marry a beautiful, a smart and a rich woman, marry three times

Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? Regular rocks are too heavy

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

What did God say after creating man? I must be able to do better than that.

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroids.

A garage sale is actually a Garbage sale but the "b" is silent.

I will join the gym the day I learn how to fly. Just so I can fly higher than my friends.