Funny One Liners

Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.

That one liner 'i'm not drinking too much tonight' never goes as planned...

Don't be irreplaceable - if you cannot be replaced, you cannot be promoted.

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother.

Why dont blacks celibrate thanksgiving? KFC isn’t open on holidays.

I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.

You owe me a drink, you're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.