Ugly people have nothing to lose. Don't get into a fight with them.
That moment when you have an awesome comeback but you can't say it because it would end the friendship
My girlfriend and I were happy for twenty years. Then one day we met!
Being dumb is almost impossible nowadays. The competition is simply too big.
You had to wait 10 whole minutes? Poor thing, are you sure you're going to be okay? Should i call someone?
Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any
Truth is like poetry, no one likes to hear it.