Funny One Liners

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe

Never break someone's heart because they have only one inside...break their bones because they have 206 of them

Darling, what are you thinking about right now? If I would want you to know, I would say it not think about it

What is the difference between a blonde and a Lamborghini? You don't let your friends borrow your Lamborghini

Change your Facebook Status to "I'm Pregnant" or "I'm Engaged" and watch the April Fools LIKE & Comment away

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said

The difference between true love and dinosaurs: We're sure that dinosaurs once existed on this earth