Funny One Liners

I will have enough money for the rest of my life. Of course, if I don't buy and eat anything

I'll be Burger King and you be McDonald's. I'll have it my way, and you'll be lovin' it

What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a nigger? Someone who is too lazy to steal

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population

You're wrong! I touched second base. I missed third... but I touched second.

If she says, "I'm OK," you're fine. If she says, "I'm Fine," You're not OK.

Somedays I feel like running away. Then I remember how much I hate running.