Unlike marriage, phone sex is a victim-less crime
Divorce our wives and move to Saudi Arabia so we can both marry Crystal
Only way I know it's spring is when the snow melts and I see my garbage on Marcy's lawn
Guys, I'm just happy for both of you. What say we celebrate by you getting the hell our of here, and me watching my TV!
Friends, don't have them, don't need them, sure as hell don't wanna watch them
There's only one kind of kiss, man faces his woman, closes his eyes, imagines he's with someone else, just like sex
Unlike your bra, there's a catch