Al Bundy One Liners & Quotes

A woman comes into the mall today, so huge she's protected by Greenpeace and asks for a size 4 shoe. So I asked her if she wants to eat them there or takes them home

That hurts Peg. Not as much as seeing you first thing in the morning, but it hurts.

I've got a natural appetite suppressant. Twenty five years of marriage

I'll tell you what I do then, We'll stand you in front of a mirror, I'll begin strangling you, when you reach the shade of blue that is satisfactory to you, you yell "Moo" and I'll stop

Peg, if you weren't my wife, I'd kiss you

What's for breakfast Peg today? Scrambled nothing or nothing over easy?

Divorce our wives and move to Saudi Arabia so we can both marry Crystal