We've been married for 17 years now, can't we just be friends?
If I was the mailman, I would be having your wife!
Unlike you Al, a shotgun can go off more than once a month
I wanna go the way all Bundys go. I wanna hang myself in my own basement by jumping off my workbench
I'd rather go synchronized swimming with Angela Lansbuy. I'd rather have my neck shaved by Ray Charles, I'd even rather have your picture tattooed on the inside of my eye lids
We could always look at the poor people who were less fortunate than us and feel better. Well, let's find a mirror.
I'm the only guy in the world who has to wake up to have a nightmare